My Blog My World -- 19th June 2008 9.30pm Channel U

Hey...
SORRY FOR THE LATE POST!!!
This post should have been up on Thursday night or Friday morning...>.<
busy fooling ard...Xp
well here it is now...

The episode's about boy whose mother died when he was very young, didn't catch his name, we shall call him Sam.
Sam's father remarried.
With memories of his father hitting his mother and because his father didn't like to see him playing soccer all the time, he felt his father hated him.
Trapped in this whirlpool of bad childhood memories, Sam had a void in his heart.
He felt he didn't belong to his home.
He felt unloved.
He lived in agony.
Each day, Sam arrives home after school with a long face and locks himself in his room.
In the morning, he go straight out the door, he never noticed the breakfast prepared for him.
His step-mother didn't know what to do as well.

He needed love to fill the void.

He was interested in a girl in his school, Christine.
He only looked at her from afar.
He didn't dare to make a move, he thinks he isn't fit to.
His buddy realised this, he knew Christine and gave Sam her number.
Sam was hesitant and didn't think it'll make a difference.
But he soon gave in to his urge to know her.
He sms-ed her, introducing himself and asking if they could be friends.
She agreed.
He was overwhelmed with joy.
In his world, there's only Christine now.
To Christine, Sam was only a normal friend she just got to know.
But he was too eager to feel loved, rushed to get her flowers before meeting her after school; cooked for her on her birthday(he remembered how his late mother used to cook for him); met her to walk to school together; running off straight after soccer training to meet her.
He took Christine as his girlfriend.
When Sam sent flowers to her place and got her scolded by her mother, Christine finally decided she's had enough.
Sam was rushing off after soccer training to meet her when she called to scold him. He was really disappointed.
The next day when he wanted to meet Christine in school, she turned and walk away at the sight of him.
They met to talk things out after that. Christine didn't understand why he behaved they way he did.
She wanted an explanation.
In front of Christine, all Sam could say was, "I'm Sorry."

Sam's world came crushing down on him.
He lost all motivation to do anything.
She skipped school, skipped soccer training and locked himself in his room. (this brings me to my post on BGR. Pls read the post, Roaring Monkey looks at BRG)
He ignored the calls of his buddy who is also his team captain.
At night, he went to vent his frustration at the soccer field.
Knowing that he'll turn up, his buddy met him there.
They talk about it and played together.
Feeling much better after sweating it out, Sam went home in the morning.
When he entered the door, on the table was breakfast waiting for him.
This time, he saw it.
As Sam sat down and started eating. his step-mother quickly got him a new cup of hot milo.
Sipping the hot milo, she suddenly felt the warmth, suddenly realised his family did care for him.
He suddenly woke up.
He asked himself, "What have I been missing out all this while?"

.....................
The family in this story lacked communication. If they had communicate more, things would have been better, there'd be more sense of belonging.

Very often when you are feeling unloved, like no once cares for you, don't get consumed in your self-pity.
Take a step back.
Look at yourselves and the people around you.
THERE ARE people who CARE.
You don't know what you've been missing out.

Something positive in the story, Sam didn't choose to drown himself in self-pity and start to do things like hurting himself to feel "relieves". IT WON'T WORK!
Instead, he chose to sweat it out.
With the help of his buddy, he felt much better. THIS WORKS!!
This is something we can learn.
Exercising helps us relieve and release all that vent up anger and frustration and gives us a clearer head to see more clearly and to work things out.


Doubt I'll be able to write on the next episode.....
I'll be doing back to back camps...
23-25 ite camp...
26-28 jurong west pri or something...
29...abseiling i think...
30-2 ian's last camp...
woot...power pack week.
NEED LOTSA ENERGY!!!LOL
Cheers~

My Blog My World -- 5th June 2008 9.30 pm Channel U

I missed the first 10 to 15 mins of this episode but guess I've still watched enough to be able to write something about it. Hope I don't miss anything....

Self-mutilation/self-torture.

Parents quarreling everyday....
Not doing well in school but cannot find the help she needs....
Not able to find friends to talk to....
Feeling that she's nobody and no one cares...
Boyfriend problem....

Some girls in her class have already started cutting themselves, they asked her to try it, saying, "it helps you know." Rachel rejected them initially.

As time passed, things got worst....
Father started staying out at nights....
Boyfriend's resentment in her and drifting away from her...

Desperate....Rachel finally turned to cutting herself...
For a moment, she felt relived...
As if the physical pain filled her empty heart and the bleeding bled away her pain....
Her classmates who were cutting themselves saw it and "took her in" as part of them...
She though she finally found friends.
Teachers saw her cuts and asked her what happened...
She thought, finally she's being noticed.
She finally felt there's a meaning in life.

The "happiness" was shot-lived as Rachel and her new found friends soon discovered.
Her friend's parents finally got divorced and she suddenly realized....cutting herself didn't change anything...
"everything is over...
but these scars, they'll never go away.
they are ugly...."

Rachel suddenly saw the cruel truth.
To make things worst, her boyfriends finally broke up with her.
Her world suddenly collapsed.
She broke down....clashed her wrist repeatedly....
"why is the pain still here....
make my pain go away..."
Cutting herself no longer helps....

Then her dad found out....
dressed her wounds....
talked to her...
she finally realised her dad does care...
she promised never to hurt herself again....


It's stupid to hurt yourselves.
It's not going to solve any problem.
For all readers our there, please please please do not resort to hurting yourselves.
I understand how it feels. I was a teen before too.
I too have felt as if the world was against me and no one cared before.
I, too have thought of hurting myself. Luckily I did not.
Like I've said in my post for the previous episode,
"when you're thinking that the world has built a wall around it to keep you out.
think again. have you built a wall around yourselves?"

If anyone of you readers out there have problem of your own and are thinking of hurting yourselves....or readers who are already hurting yourselves....
Please, there are better ways out...

Pray, for those who believe in the High Presence. Be it Christianity, Buddhism, Islam or any religion. You may not be religious but praying does help, talk to the Higher Presence.

Keep yourselves occupied. Play a sport. Sweat it out or indulge yourselves in music. People with active lives, playing sports or indulge in music or arts usually have less problem with managing emotions and sadness. Through these activities you can also make more friends and find more people to talk to.

You can even start blogging. It's a good way to express yourselves.

To my campers(my little monkeys) and all readers, if there really isn't any other way to express yourselves, you can leave a tag on the blog or a comment some where. I can't promise I'll be able to solve the problem for you. But I'll listen.

My Blog My World -- 29 may 2008 Channel U 9.30pm

This episode was about two guys who got really obsessed in the cybergaming world.

One, let's call him "A" felt that he couldn't make friends in the real world because no one ever understands him and there's no one he can talk to. Not his parents, not his siblings, not his classmates. He though the computer was his only friend. He believes he only lives in the cyber world, only there he can talk and be friend people. If his parents didn't allow him to play in the day, he would wake up in the middle of the night to play. He has no motivation for anyhtign but cybergaming. When both his computers broke down at the same time, he even suffered from withdrawal symptoms like throwing things around. Eventually he got a new computer and continued living in his world of cybergaming. But later, the classmate "A" pays to do his homework saw him browsing through game guides and item list in class. She recently started playing the same game too and she suggested meeting online to playing together if "A" can give her any tips. "A" hesitated, but the girls said, " hey, don't look down on me because I'm a girl, my whole family plays games, Dota, counter-strike, you name it." That day after school, they met online to "trained" together. "A" made his first friend. Finally, because he found some connection and he didn't close the door to her this time.

Before you start assuming that the world built a wall around it to keep you out...
Think, is it you who have built a wall around yourselves to keep the world out?

The other, let's call him, "B", is an aspiring pro-basketballer. However due to a training injury, he will not be able to play for sometime. To kill time at home, he started cybergaming and before long, he got hooked. He was looking for something to help replace the adrenaline rush he gets from winning a match on the court. However, unable to win all the time in the cybergame, he got more and more obsessed in trying to win in the cybergame. Eventually he just played day and night, neglecting physiotherapy that help him recover faster to get back on the court, forgot his dreams of being a pro-basketballer, stop hanging out with friends and contacting them because he was busy gaming. He even resorted to sneaking out at night and spending 200 dollars to buy a high level character so that he can alwasy win in the cybergame. That night, his dad caught him. Worried for his safety as he is still on clutches and he shouldn't have went out at such a late hour hours. He had a big fight with his dad even though he knew his dad was just concerned about him. At that point, all he knew was he wanted to play. His father scolded him and said that was he needs is the adrenaline rush from victory. He also reminded him, what happened to his dream of becoming a pro-basketballer? Is cybergaming day and night going to help him achieve that? NO! B's dad asked if he needed help, whether it would help if he takes away his computer. "B" woke up and started working on his leg. Soon he was back on the court. It felt good.

Never get too obsessed in a game or anything, or you'll end up neglecting more important things.
When you have a dream, fight for it. Do not let a small obstacle like a minor injury get in your way. Fight hard, fight well, even if you fail, you know you did your best and you'll have no regrets. Parents are always there to help. All you need to do is ask. Communication is the key.

Roaring monkey looks at BGR

hmmm...forgot y i wanted to post this...but nvm...
just post...lol....

Firstly, I'm not against BGR in sch...
well, i have no actual experience and wad i say is totally based on hear-say and what I've seen.

BGR can be good and bad.
Good: couple influencing each other in a positive way, like encourage each other to work harder, be it studies or work. Well, for student's case, studies.
Being in a relationship can make someone become a better person, become more responsible, more hard working, more organized, etc....
A friend told me, if he hadn't met his current girlfriend, he'd prob still the playful guy he was.
I saw the change in him too. He really did become more matured (not that he's not matured to begin with. know wad i mean?), more driven in life, and start to think about his future more seriously.

Having someone special with you,
well....someone to keep you company, someone to do things with, to chat...etc....but wad if they are too "sticky"? Resulting in too much time spent on him/her and no time for other stuff?? What about personal time???
Which brings me to the bad part of BGR....

A relationship is supposed to be happy and help to improve oneself, help one become a better person.
The most important thing, HAPPINESS. If not, what's the point?
When the relationship is affecting you in a negative way, then it's certainly uncalled for.
Depression due relationship problems, no mood to study/work, losing motivation to work....
One should understand that as a student, studies should come first, it's your future....
This is really cli`che, it's wad all the adults, parents, teachers...etc...are saying, but it's true.
Yes, there's bound to be ups and downs in a relationship but, what needs to be done must be done.
Don't cry over spilt milk, when everything is finally over and you realize you wasted so much time on that person and still have a bad relationship with him/her and u get bad result...parents unhappy....blablabla....
Weigh the benefit and the consequences, is it worth it? My point of view? No.
What needs to be done, must be done.
Yes, some might say, hey, don't talk big, it's just that you're a loser,ugly, no one likes you, so you never had a girlfriend. But seriously, after hearing all the complains my friends have, no time for this no time for that, girlfriend's unhappy, need hoaxing, girlfriend don't allow me to do this and that....
I guess besides the occasional loneliness, I'm really enjoying my single-hood. I have all the time I want to do wad I like...to play ball, to cycle, play guitar...piano...games...etc....

Next, especially for the girls, for goodness sake, please please please, learn to protect yourselves.
What I'm going to say here, I think some of the readers already know. Sex. This sounds preachy, but it's important.
"If you love me, you should give it to me." I say that's BULLSHIT. He loves your body more that he loves you.

Girls, NEVER, be pressured into it by your other half. If he loves you he should respect you.
More like, "If you love me, you should love me for me and respect me." On the news you see teens starting to do it earlier and earlier. There's even pregnant-cases in primary sch. What's the society coming to? The lack of stigma of losing one's virginity is becoming a problem. Ppl are really starting to view sex more and more lightly.
Shouldn't sex be a special something that you saved for that special someone?? Yes, and you say, at that time you really though he's the one. Hello? If you are 14-17 years old, how sure are you that he's going stay with you or you want to stay with him?!
Then after you did it you'll start thinking, I gave him my everything, I have to stay with him...

For people out there that thinks, Sex can strengthen the relationship, it is true, BUT only when the relationship has matured and both of you are now sure that he/she's the right one, more extreme way to put it, married or ready to get married...
Very often people jump in to a relationship to soon and in the heat of the moment, for the first time they did it. Soon after, they realised he/she's not the one and they start to regret...
But now, because they had sex, they cant just break up like any other couples....
The guy, being responsible will think: I did it with her, I took something very important from her, It's her first time. I cant just break up with her like that....
The girl: I gave him my all. I have to stay with him...
Sex, in this case, becomes what's keeping two separate individuals together in the relationship...
The guy, if he's responsible enough, will stay with the girl and really take care of her...
The girl, maybe she still loves the guy and clings to him afraid to lose him as she already gave him her all.
With responsible individuals, the relationship might be sustainable. But very likely it's not going to be full of love as it is being held together by a mistake--sex too early in the relationship. This is naggy. The rest of it, guess readers can imagine.

That's was the BEST CASE scenario, girls, what if the guy you meet is just a jerk who's toying you?

With the above, guys and girls, please think twice before doing it. Yes, girls are always on the losing end, but guys, same goes to you, a wrong decision and you have yourselves to answer to.


Agree? Disagree??? Anything to add??? Comments and criticism welcome.