First, I really have to apologise for this looong over due post that should have been up more than a year ago...
Well... I had been really busy with work...dance...camps....DJ-ing...travel...and for a period I wasn't in the right state of mind to write a constructive post....and then I got employed full-time...teaching...more travelling......even more busy.... Really?
NO. That's all just excuses from the Procrastination-Demon.
Time and again the thought of completing this post popped up just to be dismissed by the Procrastination-Demon. NO. MORE.
A series of events that happened early last November set me thinking. About LIFE...and what I have been doing with mine (such a heavy topic...lol). I decided I need CHANGE and really start doing things I've always wanted to do. This can go on an on...but let's not bore you with it...
Back to something related to "Leadership".....
With my new outlook in life, I booked a flight to Europe for my first solo adventure at the end of December...
The trip was not only to see the world but also for self-discovery... I remember saying in an earlier post that reflection and self-realization is key to self-improvement. Travelling solo is amazing for that. =)
I realize I might be repeating a lot of things I've said in the older post if I were to only write about the camp(which was already drafted not long after them camp). I believe you've probably read those so I will not be writing about the camp. Besides, it's probably too late. I hope you haven't forgot what you learnt during the camp. Especially lessons about YOURSELF.
This post is about "Everyday Leadership".
First, watch this: The Bystander Effect - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4S1LLrSzVE
I URGE you to watch it again even if you have watched it before.Done? What would you have done?
Rule #1 - I ought to help someone that is clearly in distress.
Rule #2 - I ought to do what others are doing. - TO CONFORM.
Which is your inner voice? Or rather, which one usually wins?
This is a video I wanted to share with you guys either during the camp or slightly after, when I first saw it (there are many other similar experiments on youtube). While in Europe, I was reminded of the video.
I flew to Munich to meet a buddy of mine and in between, I flew to London to meet a girl(she's your senior from Chung Cheng!) I really wanted to know but have never met in real-life(one of the young and crazy things to do. =D).
London was also when I REALLY spent time ALONE. Rediscovering myself.
When you travel alone, all your senses heighten. In a foreign land, alone and vulnerable, you'd either be: Really nice, helpful, smiley and friendly to everyone, treat everything with an opening mind and be ever welcoming to all experiences; or, you be all weary, apprehensive, scared and sceptical about everything. I chose the first.
You want to be really nice, helpful, smiley and friendly to everyone because you hope everyone will be the same to you. You are alone in a foreign land. YOU NEED IT. Treating everything as an experience make you happier, because you will never be on the losing end. You always, learn something. After all, I'm a pretty big guy so I can take a little risk.
"The world out there isn't really that scary. Not everyone is out there waiting to take advantage of you. There are tonnes of people willing to help you." - Some other solo traveller wrote this(she's a girl in her early 20s!), and it is soo true!
I'm writing about this because this was my experience as the person in "distress" - the one that needs help. During my short 2 weeks in Europe, I asked countless people for help. I wanted to explore, get lost, talk to people and find my way again so I did not depend on my smartphone. Did not use the GPS or call anyone unless it was meeting them. I asked for direction to places, A LOT. Asked random people on the streets if I could borrow their phone to make a call because I did not have an overseas line.
NO ONE, declined to help.
NO ONE, waved their hand at me and walk away in dismissal....until...
I asked if I could borrow a phone from a group of 3 Asian guys(probably Taiwanese, Chinese or HongKong-er) in London, Oxford Street, in English.... the guy I approached did not even utter a word after I finish asking. Instead he just waved his hands and walked away with his 2 friends. I could tell from the way they looked at me as they walk away that they think I might be trouble. -.-"
There I stood thinking, I thought I would be easier getting help from Asians since I am Asian too???
This set me thinking. This, this "wave-hand-and-walk-away" crap happens a lot in Singapore doesn't it!? What's wrong with us?? Many of us are weary. Afraid of being cheated. I'm not saying it's bad to be cautious, its is important to exercise caution to protect yourselves. But very often our so called fears cannot really be justified. Do you really have that much to lose by helping? Why are we like that? Are we desensitized? Or have we been cheated one too many times? Or just that we have heard too much?
We need a REALITY CHECK.
The truth is this, when someone runs away with your phone after you tried to be nice by letting him make that "important call", it will be plastered all over your Facebook, Tweeter, Whatsapp and any other platform that helps you SPREAD THE NEWS. You want everyone to know.
But in a normal case, where the guys makes the call and returns you the phone, looking eternally grateful, you are not going to post: "OMG, I LEND A STRANGER MY PHONE FOR AN URGENT CALL AND HE RETURNED MY PHONE AFTER HE MADE THE CALL! SO NICE!!!"
The bad-stuff spreads wide as fast, but the "good", is deem as normal and no one really talks about it. Because guess what? IT IS NORMAL - this means normal people, in our normal world is not out there waiting to cheat us and run away with that iPhone5s or S4 that we worked so hard and saved-up to buy. But of course, know where you are and what you stand to lose, don't be stupid.
Our response to things around us very much depends on our past experiences; what we hear from our friends and loved ones. What they will do when in a similar situation. It's our innate need to CONFORM, to be able to RELATE. It's is human and hence that's how the majority of us behave. Most, if not all of us are AFRAID TO BE DIFFERENT at some point in some given scenario.
You camp was title - CHANGEMAKERS. Leaders stand out because they dare to be different. They took the LEAD and created that change - see how that first person TOOK THE LEAD to help that lady lying on the floor and suddenly there is a CHANGE. A "new group" is created, the group that helps, and others start to help too. How that lady saw something wrong and wants to help. But only FOLLOWED after seeing someone else helps first.
Which one are you? Are you willing to be different? Be judged?
We can talk about this more but it will be too long and draggy than it already is. Instead of just me talking, leave a comment.
Let's play tennis.=)
P.S.: All of you should have graduated from Chung Cheng right? HOPE EVERYONE's DOING GREAT!!=)
1 comment:
update this soon yo!:)
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